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Is there a clip you want that you don't see listed?
Send me a request! I could also use some links to sounds
on other sites. I just don't have the space to hold all of them. :)
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vibchr.wav Salesman: "Would you like to try a vibrating chair?" Dogbert: "Get out of my way you pervert."
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937msgs.wav Voicemail message: "'beep beep beep b-b-beep' You have 937 messages... all of which are marked urgent."
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brainstorm.wav Dogbert: "Remember, the first rule of brainstorming, is to openly mock the opinions, of others."
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sontome.wav Boss: "Bob, you're like a son to me.." Marketing Executive: "You don't have a son." Boss: "That's where I'm headed here." Marketing Executive: "Oooh.."
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mice.wav Dilbert: "What's a mousepad?" Wally: "Heh, feminine protection for mice..." *Alice wacks Wally with a book*
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nature.wav Dogbert: "Just let nature take it's course." Dilbert: "Nature? How long will that take??" Dogbert: "Hmmm... not long. I'm part of nature."
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recomnd.wav Loud Howard: "He doesn't look like any consultant I've ever seen!!" Dogbert: "Recommendation.. Downsize the loud guy." Loud Howard: "I.. I.. I take it back!"
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newprod.wav Boss: "Well, we have to make up for the revenue shortfall, and there's only 2 ways to do that. Create a new product, ooor make massive painful budget cuts." Loud Howard: "Let's make a new product!"
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rumor.wav Loud Howard: "I've heard a rumor!!" Wally, Alice, and Dilbert: "Shh.. Ow ow ow ow!" Loud Howard: "Sorry, s..s...sorry sorry.. I've heard a rumor! Our lozenges product wiped out a town! I can't believe it! Those lozenges were made of natural ingredients!"
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crazytalk.wav Dilbert: "Do you ever get tired of watching bad things happen to people?" Dogbert: "That's crazy talk".
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youcare.wav Boss: "I liked the way you said 'any' twice. It shows.. you care. .... .... you care."
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notknow.wav Dogbert: "There are some things you're not meant to know."
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hurtme.wav Loud Howard: "Why do you say things that you know will hurt me?!"
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wrong.wav Loud Howard: "Why are we here?! What have we done wrong?!"
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shreek.wav Dilbert: "But then how do you barbecue under water?" Marketing Executive: "Sorry.. We couldn't hear you. Your comments were drowned out by a large shreek from next door."
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rmrhuman.wav Loud Howard: "The rumor is.. they treat you like a human being! I would love to be treated like a human being! Just once!" Wally: "Here ya go boy..." *Wally gives Loud Howard a dog bone*
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thanku.wav Nirvana Executive: "You may have heard, we have a different way of 'doing' things around here that you may have to get 'used to' but, I think you'll enjoy the level of 'freedom' we allow our 'employees'." Dilbert: " 'Thank you' "
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bravo.wav Security Guard: "Flaming Commando to central control. I have an intruder situation in area 4-G-1-1-niner-slash-d-x-p-y-k-2-5-l-m Rainbow Bravo Nylon Delta Tango Foxtrot!"
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code.wav Dogbert: "All communication will be done in the form of codes. Which will be changed on a daily basis." Employee #1: "Is there a banjo player in Farmer Johansen's silo." Employee #2: "A pigeon has no use for keys. He opens doors with his song."
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name.wav Boss (on tape recorder): "The name.. is the most important part of the project. I cannot emphasize this strongly enough." Everyone: "uuuuhuuuuhhh" Boss: "And once we have a name, there's nooo going back. That's my final word. Alice are you getting this all on tape?"
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allwomen.wav Alice: "I think I speak for all women capable of reproduction when I say, NO!"
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ruined.wav Loud Howard: "You've ruined sex for me!! Forever!!"
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trample.wav Waiter: "Our special today, is an angry horde of rioters who will trample you, and your date." Customer: "Oooh, I'll have thaAAA...*trample*"
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small.wav Dilbert: "It's... so small! I can't even find it." Lena: "That's more than I needed to know."
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brain.wav Alice: "She's making me think of sex at the same time I see you naked. Now I've got Dilbert and sex in the same part of my braaaaain! OW OW OW! GET IT OUT!!!"
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reality.wav Garbage Man: "Can I help you?" Dilbert: "I've got to get to work. And you're blocking me." Garbage Man: "Although it may seem that way on the surface, in reality it's you that's blocking your self." Dilbert: "You're right! How do you know that?" Garbage Man: "It's what I do." Dilbert: "You're a garbage man." Garbage Man: "Exactly."
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fellas.wav Dogbert: "Fellas... Tick Tick Tick..."
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work.wav Dilbert: "Why are we all forced to go to work at the same time?"
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right.wav Wally: "I will tell you we're doing the right thing, but I will NOT look at you."
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lalala.wav Dilbert and Wally: "La La-La La-La La-La La La-La-La-La-La-La-Laaaa...."
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iocmeet.wav Boss: "Wally, I'll need to review the RFP for the BGA project before the IOC meeting..." *tap tap*
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yourbrok.wav Dogbert: "That's right. It's all in the last chapter. Congratulations, you're broke!"
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capped.wav Dogbert: "Please don't hurt me is not attitude. It's an invitation to get capped."
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stock.wav Dogbert: "You two now own 51% of the company." Dilbert: "Yea, but the stock's not worth anything." Dogbert: "I'll be right back."
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strike.wav Wally: "The time to strike is neih. Are you in?" Dilbert: "Did you say neih?" Wally: "It's a word."
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bear.wav Brownie the Bear: "I swear to god, I'll come over there, and one swipe with my claw and you won't have a face my friend, ok!?!"
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advcesng.wav Wally and Dilbert: "Follow follow follow follow, follow Dogbert's advice! Weeee're off to spend the moneeey!"
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allinfav.wav Dogbert: "All in favor say *snoring*.... Ah, the resolution passes unanimously."
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snotrag.wav Reporter: "As I said, weakness in the Japanese Yen, the Swiss Frank, and the Russian.. uh... snotrag, are all bad news for poorly managed, multi-national companies."
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coffee.wav Bob Bastard: "Dilbert, black, no sugar. Wally, cream with sugar. Boss, decaf with equal. Alice, cafe au let."
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doneit.wav Dilbert: "That's it! I think I've done it" Dogbert: "That's not the word on the street."
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drnkthis.wav Dogbert: "Ratbert..." *Ratbert fanfare* "Here drink this."
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fire.wav Boss: "I beleve your on fire ." Bob Bastard: "Ohhh.. you got that right."
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mankind.wav Dogbert: "There's one small nothing for mankind."
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strong.wav Bob Bastard: "What's a matter? Too strong for ya?! *maniacal laughter*"
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working.wav Bob Bastard: "Excuse me, I'm working." Boss: "The man is working!"
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bobevil.wav Dilbert: "Bob Bastard is evil! He is set on destroying everything we hold dear."
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dillaser.wav *Dilbert's laser sound*
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growths.wav Boss: "Oh I've got goosebumps, or some other strange growths."
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doughboy.wav Dogbert: "That and the fact you look like the inlegitamate son of Bill Gates and the Pilsberry Doughboy."
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deposit.wav Phone Operator: "Please deposit four-hundred thousand, five hundred and seventy five and twenty cents, now."
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cornea.wav Doctor: "You won't even feel the laser on your cornea." *Dilbert's laser sound* Doctor: "Now that is embarassing."
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prev.wav Dogbert: "Dance for your diplomat. Dance!" *gunfire* Dogbert: "Now Riverdance." *gunfire* |